I've been feeling very apathetic lately. I'm not really sure why but every once in awhile I feel like this. I really try my hardest to never get in those moods because I know how they affect other people. But, whatever sometimes it just happens and there is nothing I can do about it. Those are the times I listen to sorrowful music, ie why I had such a Bright Eyes kick in high school. Sufjan Stevens is one of those artists for me for sure. I love Casimir Pulaski Day. Not only because it's a great song, but I actually love the real day too, Punchkees anyone? My dad had a tradition of getting them every year, such a good treat. It's a shame we don't get it off in college, but thus is life.
But, back to the song, it just makes you feel sad for the girl he's talking about but again he doesn't show enough emotion to really feel that terrible about it. I dunno, that's kind of how I feel right now. I've been taking a Graphic Design class which is heavily focused on Typography. We talk a lot about Helvetica. As those who most know me, I talk in my sleep a lot. Apparently I have been bitching about Helvetica in my sleep. I didn't know I had that much angst for it.
I've always had this feeling that the only person I can rely on is myself and again that's coming back to the surface again. It's sad, but I do have a hard time forgiving people for things and I guess that sometimes is reflected in how I react to people. I'm not good with trust, and once that's been broken it's hard for me to brush away from that. That's when I get apathetic. Especially if someone does that crappy thing multiple times to me, I can't get my thoughts away from that. I'm not sure why I am like this, and I've tried really hard to be good to everyone who has been good to me in my life but I think I need to start spending more time by myself and not relying on everyone else to make me happy. Since it's not really working anyways....
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