Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Last Dance With Mary Jane, One More Time to Kill the Pain

I love Tom Petty. A Lot. I can honestly say that "Last Dance with Mary Jane" is my all time favorite song by him, and I can never get enough of the video. I know it's creepy but I used to watch it on VH1 all the time, there's always been something about it that has pulled me in. Odd because maybe that song has a few undertones of marijuana? OK maybe more that a few. Interestingly I have NEVER done marijuana in my life.

I used to be extremely against it. Not because I was one of those hardcore kids who stayed in the DARE program for life (not that I have anything against that), but because of all the things my dad had been through and the stories he told me of his friends. My dad did A LOT of pot, and a lot of other things too. Many a times he still tells me he should have kept with dope instead of working as a mechanic (hahahaha). But, the stories he's told me about what happened to him while he was doing drugs, the things that are happening or happened to his friends that killed them, it just hasn't appealed to me. I am very worried that I have the addictive personality that he does and if I tried it I would become addicted to it.

Now that's not saying I don't think about trying it. I mean I feel like a hypocrite because I drink and that's just as addictive as marijuana. I guess I'll give you some of the examples of what I mean. My dad's best friend committed suicide pretty quickly after my dad got married, he had always had a lot of anger issues, but one day he just up and left. My dad has always connected that with drugs, but I've honestly never heard the full story because not many people want to talk about what happened. One of my dad's other best friends died 2 years ago from Diabetes. Diabetes at 50, that was so bad that he couldn't even move up and down stairs, all linked back to the way he treated himself and his body through the use of drugs.

So no, it's not a whole moral thing that I'm against it, I'm just scared to death of the consequences of it. I guess I'm following my father's footsteps, and staying away from it to set an example of life and how it can be enjoyable without drugs. I can't ever imagine the pain my dad has gone through and is going through with all of this. For all of you out there that has asked me to try it, or wanted me to, this is my reasoning as to why I've held back for so long. I do hope you understand.

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